I was just going through the Deccan Herald article about your campaign - Eve
Teasing. Let me express my straight forward views on this particular
subject. My language may be crude, I will have to use it to get the right
effect and it is a fact!
Most of the men tend to tease women if they are not well dressed. When I
say well dressed, I mean neat churidhars, sarees and other kind of Indian
dresses will attract less teasing from the menfolk. On the other hand, most
of the women/girls want to be seen and hence they wear skimpy dresses. Let
me start from the top. Most of the young teenage girls have undescribable
kind of hairdos, dark red lipsticks, more foundations, facials etc on the
face (really unwanted but indirectly inviting the opposite sex). You can
almost see the cleavage of all the females except some who might be wearing
a transparent blouse to show their latest fashion bras and there are some
who don't even wear bras. Even if some females are wearing a good dress,
they won't place the dupatta properly on the chest. They either put it on
one side of the shoulder or wrap it around the neck. In short, they want to
exhibit the shape of their boobs to the opposite sex.
Coming down a bit, now-a-days you can see the bare waist, colour of the
panty, pantyhose or even a part of the ass of all females on Brigades/MG
Road. Even if in some cases, they are not clearly visible, some females
will just sit down on a road side shop pretending as if to search a book or
a sandal, so that the guys at the back can see their body hugging T-shirts
lift up and watch the waist and colour of the panty/panty hose from the
back. This is the logic.
Coming down further, now-a-days, even small females from the age of 10,
want to wear tight fitting jean. That is simply because, they know that
males will be watching the pussy part and the tight fat thighs when they
look at a girl walking with tight jeans. Moreover, they want to show the
shape of their ass to the world and when they are sure that males are
watching, they make their ass to vibrate a bit more.
The above three paragraphs will give you an idea of the general tendency. I
do not have to tell you much about the facts like, girls wearing minis,
micros, shorts, body hugging T-shirts where everbody can see the shape of
the upper part of the body with a protruding boobs with a big bottom.
These are the major factors which tends the minds of men/boys to tease.
There is nothing wrong in being Western in attire. The Wester concept
should be adopted for good purposes in life.
All the best for your campaign but it will not succeed. I am sure.
For eg., look at the following link. It was in the same Deccan Herald.
They are posing for a dress with Tricolour. Look how skimpy they are. Are
they not ashamed of doing that with our national flag? Do you think men will
respect these females. The moment somebody looks at these photographs, they
will think that these females are with lose characters and nobody to control
at home. I think you got my point.
I don't this you will reply to this mail.
Akash P R.
Wow ...a very good discussion in here ..enjoyed reading it
Akash doesn't speak for anyone but himself. Hey Akash, does this mean five year olds who are raped (There was a news item about this yesterday) were also provoking their attackers?
Agreed that some girls try to draw attention by various gimmicks,but did they ask to be groped and raped?! They might've just asked for some decent attention!And is groping and teasing a decent way of giving attention?If you want to respond to an indecent call for attention by groping and teasing to show that you're giving attention,then do two wrongs make a right?
Even guys try to get attention,do the girls come and play with their private parts to acknowledge that?!
I'll try to tell you where I feel you're wrong in simple words with an example.
Problem: Bangalore has a lot of problems due to traffic jams.
Solution should be: Government should improve the infrastructure to accommodate the vehicles.
Your so called solution to the same problem will be: Ban vehicles.
Don't blame the Government.
Vehicles may not be a necessity for you,but it may be for others.
Similarly,what you think is an indecent dress,may not be an indecent dress for the one who's wearing it.She maybe wearing it to impress her boyfriend/husband or some guys of her choice or maybe just for the sheer comfort it's providing; forget a streetwalker/onlooker,not even her boyfriend/husband has the right to grope or tease her.She has to permit for somebody to do to her what she wants him to do to her.
Do you get what I'm trying to say? The problem here is with the attitude of the men towards women,and you're trying to divert the problem to the dressing of women,you're not giving a solution to the problem,but you're trying to justify the wrong acts of men by accusing women of enticing
them to perform those wrong acts and you're also implying that men will never misbehave with any woman if she dresses well and that her way of dressing is the root cause for disrespect shown to her by men.If what you're trying to say is true,then there should be rampant sexual harassment in the western countries where it is common to see scantily clad women,and there should be absolutely no sexual harassment of women in the middle east where women are always under the burkha.But it is not so.In western countries,for example,Scandinavian countries,where there is complete liberty for women to wear whatever they wish and where women do wear all kinds of 'tights and minis',the rate of sexual harassment is the least in the world.That is because of the good upbringing of the people in those countries,men are taught to respect women,they are told that women are equal in all respects,
where they are bred on egalitarian values.Instead of emulating them,
you're suggesting that we should not tell the men to change their
attitude towards women and become gentlemen,but to emulate the
countries where the liberty of women is curbed and to teach women what wear and what not to wear so that the animal instincts of men(though men are supposed to have evolved to a higher category of humans ages back)are not aroused which 'forces' them to force themselves upon them!
Should women be forced to wear what men want them to wear so that that it assists men to control their senses,if not,their animal instincts takeover and they misbehave with them or pounce upon them?! What kind of justice is that?! Your reasoning is no less to the mindless reasoning our ex-PM gave during the aftermath of the Godhra incident...Action-Reaction Theory!
The contributing factors may be plenty,some women may try to seduce/draw undue attention by various methods,but is that the
justification men should give for not being able to control their
senses and misbehave with every other woman and make it a habit
to tease them,grope them and rape them?!
Does it also mean that if a girl walks naked on the street,a guy has
every liberty to grope/rape her accusing her of low morality and
character and calling himself of high character and morality inspite of groping/raping her?!
Shouldn't the attitude of a gentleman be such that he should even respect a commercial sex worker or a dance bar girl or any other woman of so called low character if he really is a gentleman?! If his attitude
isn't such,then neither is he a gentleman nor a person of good moral character.His upbringing is flawed and he suffers from a patriarchic mentality suggesting ways of behavioural and dressing changes to girls instead of taming his animal instincts and becoming a complete human being.
Passing the blame,instead of accepting mistakes and rectifying,is very easy and that is what men do when they put the blame for misbehaving with a girl and blame it on her ways of dressing and behaviour.
Face the problem...attitude of considerable men in India sucks! They lack decent and polished upbringing with the least inculcation of values of equity and egalitarianism.They're not complete humans as yet and suffer from animal instincts trying to grope and rape!
And don't be so sure of the failure of this campaign.Nobody can stop progress and advancement.And this campaign is for progress in the thoughts and mindset of many men and is bound to succeed in the years to come.The one who fails to see it is left far behind in the race of humanity...to lose and die uncivilized like an animal.
Seems like most of the men who've published their posts are angry. They've taken the moral high ground and are trying to justify themselves! You've won your first battle already.
Wanted to come to Majestic today, but I'm leaving town tonight. Sorry, but you have my moral support!
-Sunny Joseph (aka Anonymous -D)
It's hard to believe this is even a defense anymore. But Jasmeen, this is great - and it's been way to long coming. Will keep checking this space; hope to take part in any related events once I'm in Bangalore.
There is plenty of eve-teasing, molestation and even rape that's going on out there, that has nothing to do with how the women concerned are dressed. It has everything to do with power. The men concerned have, in these situations, power over the women concerned - and usually, that power is based on 2 things: brute force and a woman's apathy towards standing up and making a scene / filing a report because the necessary authorities and even passers by comprise largely this same type of man. And the not-so-stray woman, who believes that the girl is at fault, because in her world-view, the girl is always at fault, by definition.
Those of us who are aware of projects like this are probably from backgrounds where the necessary support is available, and we have sufficient self-confidence to be able to protest in some meaningful way. What about the millions of Indian women who are not?
Akash, I was 14 years old, in a croded bus in Mumbai, two well oiled braids, wearing a shalwar kameez, and in good Iyer tradition NO makeup. Moreover I was with my mum. An asshole reached over and grabbed my breast. As one who has been in those lousy shoes, let me tell you that eve teasing and sexual harassment has nothing to do with clothing or makeup, it has to do with power, and the knowledge that you can get away with vile obscene actions. So please truly shut your trap on issues you have NO personal information or experience of.
I am a girl in Bangalore, and I tend to partly agree with Akash.
You live in a jungle, and you better be prepared for the animals that occupy the jungle. Say you were going to a ranch with a bunch of bulls, would you wear a red dress to attract the wrath of the bulls? If you were going into a tiger infested forest, would you go without carrying some arms?
They might've just asked for some decent attention
There is no such thing as decent attention. If you want to wear a dress to impress your boyfriend/husband, do it at home, or at places where it's safe. If you want to wear a red dress, wear it a home, not at the bull ranch.
Jasmeen has listed a bunch of things (arms?) that women can carry around to feel safe. Most girls (good Iyer tradition..) don't have access to such things, or are not aware of these armaments. When you do your rallys, you should try to educate the womenfolk also, along with the men. Maybe you can give out free samples of mace spray, or certificates towards some self-defense martial-arts class?
If you do have an itch to change things in the society, start at the source, instead of the results.
1. Fix this, this and this
Most, if not all the pictures you have posted are of people who are exposed to nothing but stuff like this. What do you expect from someone who views women as sex symbols alone?
2. I don't recommend that you have lunch with the man who leches at you, but there should be a better way (Than posting his picture at this website, and hurling insults at him) to educate him, and make sure that he does not do it again.
3. You cannot change the way people think and behave by distributing leaflets at Magestic and Brigade Road. If that is indeed your aim, I think your efforts are seriously misdirected
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arrggggh! Jasmeen, can I just take out a supari on Akash?
thats the reality charu...split minds...so many worlds...so many realities with their own sense of logic...
its beyond being a shock
I copied the following from one of the previous posts from someone, because I think it addresses the question of "to what extent a women's choices responsible" for her to be groped -
Q. What role does a woman's clothing (and hence a woman's choice)play towards her being groped?
A. It is reasonable to assume that the "probability of being groped" does have some relation to the "clothing of the victim". Of course, clothing is not the sole or even, perhaps, a major determinant towards "being groped"; however, there is indeed a causual relationship between harassment and the type of clothing: i.e, wearing certain types of clothes does enhance the chances of being groped.
Since a woman has the choice to wear or avoid certain types of clothing, she can indeed affect her chances of being groped. Indeed, the woman might have several reasons in favor of wearing these let's call high-risk-clothes, but it is irrelevant to the point here. The price for wearing these clothes is the increased likelihood of being groped. It is a question of cost/benefit. Every woman makes her choice.
Let's try to account some of the major factors that affect your chances of being groped:
70% - Whether you are in crowded places - crowded buses, streets, dance clubs etc.
20% - Whether you are with any other males or not
10% - Nature of clothes you wear
Of course, I made up those numbers, and we will need some statistical data to make an assertion like the one above. My entire point is that: regardless of how important a factor clothing is, it does play a role, and gives you an oppurtinuity where you can affect your chances of being groped.
So, women do indeed have a role in reducing (not eliminating) the chances of being groped.
Q. Is it right that woman are groped because of their clothes?
A. Whether men should grope a woman just because she wearing certain kind of clothes, I will not answer. I will leave it to the moralists. What I will say is that, we all have a conception (a world free of gropers) of how the world ought to be, but our conception rarely matches the reality. You cannot directly control the actions of the men who grope you... perhaps you can reduce( not eliminate) the probability of it happening by doing the following:
1. Doing your campaign to raise awarness, and affecting people's sensibilties
2. Avoiding crowded places
3. Avoiding clothes the might elict this response
Of course, you would not like to do some actions (i.e., avoid certain types of clothes or crowded places) becasue the benefits might be high - your bus might be a cheapest mode of transport, even if travelling in it will increase your chances of being groped. You might enjoy wearing skin tight jeans (an an example), though you might enhance your chances of being groped. The choice is yours: And doing all the above are not going to eliminate being groped, they merely will reduce it... is the reduction enough for what you give up? Each women has her answer.
Few more observations:
1. Most replies either put the entire blame on the women, or the entire blame on the perpetuators. Yes, in the legal sense, it is illegal to grope becacuse there is a law against it, and it is not illegal to dress provocatively because it is not against the law.
2. That said, and since people do what is illegal - it is not crazy to think that dressing modestly will be less suspsecptible (I am not they will not be victims any more). Untill, we emerge into an eglitarian society like the one's in Scandinavia, which in my opinion is zillions of years away, you will have to live in this reality.
3. Merely because a woman is dressed in a way you dislike, that does not mean you shoudl grope her.
2,3 are not contradictory. Read again. Yes, there is a middle ground here.
I cannot believe what is written here about 'inviting' eve-teasers.
I remember being 13 years old, wearing a kid Tshirt and jeans...and some guy tried to grab my breasts.It was horrific.
I remember being a schoolgirl wearing the school Basketball team Tshirt, and some guy on the road passing comments and calling me and my friends 'prostitutes'.
There are also several incidents of men following women, passing comments, singing fliratious songs and making them feel nervous and unsafe.
If a guy's bare-chested and roaming around and a girl 'adam-teased' him, and he felt violated and complained against her... should she just say...'you MADE me do it'????
"Oh that's different", do I hear you say?
a pervert mind is a pervert mind is a pervert mind.
and if they can't take responsibility for it, they don't have the right to say someone MADE them do it.
This is what I never get. Crimes against women are the ONLY ones that seem to always question the "character" of the victim. Consider theft. No one ever questions the honesty with which the victim made the money that was stolen. Murder victims are not suspected of provoking the murderer. But when it comes to women, the first reaction to any crime is "what did SHE do to provoke". Is it sheer lack of intelligence that incapacitates these people from understanding the concept of a "law".
So will I be justified in bludgeoning a man with a bad attitude, saying "hey he invited it".
How come this sense of "propriety" is not defined for men. Define like its defined for women. Defined with an understanding that if they do not follow it, others can go ahead and harass them and get away with it.
We can NEVER be an evolved society unless we learn to respect our own people. One section harassing another, weather its gender based, caste based, class based, can NEVER be justified. Evolved societies reach consensus on social norms, make it a law, and execute it fairly. Not each subsection making their own decisions
The desire of the man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man.
-Madame de Stael, writer (1766-1817)
Agree with Charu on the supari.
But seriously... these kind of people, they make me beyond red-hot and ready-to-murder-in-the-most-grotesque-way-possible angry. And I have learned that there is nothing but frustration in trying to argue with these people. I would rather go and bang me head against a nail studded wall. And you know what gets at me all the more... it is the women who agree with it too... I guess these women deserve to be sent to a Talibanized place where all their rights will be taken from them and they will be treated like a man's property... And anyways don't EFFING shift the blame... rapes happen to nuns and to 6 month old baby girls. Groping happens to middle-aged ammas in sarees...
I'm a guy and I *completely* disagree with what you say. In fact, it is arguments like yours that spur men on to do all nasty things.
Let's ignore for a second the fact that bad things happen to all kinds of women - from nuns to girls dressed from head to toe.Your statement about 'most men tend to tease..' is totally, utter rubbish.
I've seen my fair share of skimpily dressed women. Do they draw a second look from me? Yes - any normal guy would. But looking/admiring someone is far different from groping/eve-teasing/whistling.
What's the bigger crime her? Women wearing what they want to wear or us men not being able to control our primitive impulses? How can you possibly justify men losing control and violating the personal space and rights of another human being?
Your argument is like saying - Wearing a watch and using a cellphone might tempt thieves to mug you. So don't wear a watch or use a cellphone...you're wrong in doing so. And the poor goondas are not to blame.
Let's do the reverse argument- why should guys be allowed to wear shorts and banians? I play basketball - imagine if I had to put up with catcalls every single time I had to wear my team jersey. What if guys are prohibhited from exposing their arms and legs in public because girls 'might think they're of loose character' as you put it.
We live in a free world . Living in a free world means you're free to say what you want, wear what you want as long as you don't violate anyone else's rights. Living in a free world means that women can wear any damn thing they choose to. It does not mean that men 'have a right to tease women they presume to be of loose character'.
I wish you spent some time in a male-only prison - where you would be subjected to the same kind of sexual crimes women are exposed to today. That might change your mind a bit.
We cant call our society a free society until people stop justifying these crimes. Just stopping the criminals themselves isn't good enough - it is people like Akash who are more dangerous. And I speak on behalf of the sane men in India today (hopefully).
Don't blame society or women or their clothes. It is us men that are to blame for being uncivilized and being no better than animals.
- Sriram Krishnan
I guess i am a little late in posting my comment on akash's piece. However, i agree with Sriram Krishnan's suggestion on sending Mr.Akash to an all mén's prison so that he can find out ways to effectively avoid any kind of sexual attention from other male prisioners. and when he does that he will know that they are no effective way to avoid unwanted dirty attention in any case..except for locking oneself in a room with no contact with these peverts at all!!! and i don't think akash would want women to do that...considering he is probably one of those, who enjoy watching girls showing off their figures and wishing he could do a little more than just stare at them! grow up akash..really
Stuff it Akash...you don't know what you are talking about...do I take it you have molested women yourself and now seek a justification in "Provocation"?...because it certainly seems like it. My sympathies to any women who you know. It is not just your language that is crude.
Keep at it. It's jerks like these that we men are ashamed of.
What would this chap say to the fact that my mother was harassed on the streets of Chennai when she was past 40, wearing a saree and carrying a bag of vegetables.
Jasmeen, I do commend your work with the Blank Noise project. We need something like this.
You donot reflect the vision of your name!!
Consider a girl of loose character if she is wearing an attire which doesn't seem fit to your cranky head!!
What a damn logic!!
If we go by your logic then all the Epic serials(likes of Ramayana etc) shown on the TV are nothing less than show of nudity.
The problem is less with their dresses its more with the male mind.
Its us against them!!
When a Salman khan takes off his shirt he is sexy and if a girl dresses a little revealing she is loose character.
Why man but why!!
The basic issue is that we have double standards in our brought up, i would just mention a few:
If its your home keep it clean, if its a public place - litter around!!
If you are a male, loose your virginity at the first possible chance and then brag about it aming your friends.
And if the same is done by a girl she is loose....... why???
The problem with the Male mind is possesiveness.
You may say that its not possible to overcome this menace!!
For that I would just say that there was a time when women were equated with animals by our own Indian Society.
Yeah.. These things donot happen overnight!!
But yes, we have started marching!!
I am glad I stumbled on this blog! Attitude in India needs to change by so much. I come from what most people would consider a forward looking family in Chennai. My parents have sent me and my brother alone hiking when we were 14 and 10 years old respectively. Backpacked with a girlfriend for a week. They have never ever curtailed me from doing a single thing because I was a girl. I came to the US to do a second masters.I started running and am training for a marathon and am planning a trip to India for a short while.
You may wonder where all this is leading. But, in a recent conversation with my parents - they said - I should perhaps stop running, bcos I cannot do that in India! Why not? There are roads. There are beaches. Why can I not run? Because there are other people too... There are other men around (and women too) who will see you run and see your boobs shake. And you will want to run in shorts. Is it not sad - that an act as simple as running is considered provocative?
My parents are scared of me getting molested. But, I cannot live on like this, where I need to curtail my lifestyle in order to avoid crossing paths with a random stranger. Exposure to the outside world and education go a long way in creating awareness for women. If we stand up against being molested, one day - I am sure that people will understand not to violate our boundaries. I was groped on my way back from school - when I was a 13 year old kid. I hardly had any breasts to speak of! Well - if such a thing happened to me/ to any other girl/ women within my vicinity now, I will not hesitate to chase down the person responsible and give him a good bit of my mind/ shoes! Most gropers take advantage of crowded places and think that women will not want to draw attention to themselves. What women need to realize is that they are the victims, and not the perpetrators of the crime. There is no need to feel ashamed. Speak out in a clear loud voice about what happened and shame the guy. Get him thrown out of the bus by the co-passengers! Putting up with injustice and later complaining about the situation do not help at all. I am really glad to have come across this. And very very heartened to see that despite men like Akash, there are men like Sriram Krishnan too. Thanks, Jasmeen.
I think the issue is :
People don't get enough sex in india - the whole chastity thing stops girls and boys from exploring their sexuality at an early age.
And men divert their libido into doing groping, general harassment etc..
As india becomes more free with respect to sex, we will see a change.
One more thing is -> If a woman running in shorts is looked at with lechery eyes, if enough women do it, it will become a normal occurance, and people won't pay attention.
Anybody who is out of place ( and women with so-called provocative clothes are out-of-place in a largely covered up society) will be looked at. Being looked at is okay. touching,harrassment is not. If you have something interesting to show, people will look at it.
But if all women do it , nobody will pay attention ( kinda like topless tribal women.. )
sa-re-ga-ma, you might understand why western countries are kinda better in treating women, they get the real thing, sex, and they are not interested in silly groping and stuff..
Women in india need to fight back though.. give it in the nuts if somebody touches you.. lechers, I think they will stop looking when they had enough to see.. they are harmless.
Dear Aakash ,
Sky is indeed the limit to your misplaced logic. Don't try to justify your helplessness by conveniently blaming the dressing habits of women. You can say all what you did and still go scott free because women in India have yet to emerge from centuries of male dominance. Women in most parts of the world have been where Indian women today are and I am sure just as women in a few western countries, Indian women will exercise their right to free will without the worry of an ogler go scott free by citing ridiculous arguments. Stop telling yourselves that it is your right to ogle at any pretext whatsoever. Just stop ogling and give the other person the due respect and independence she deserves.
I just chanced upon this blog and this mail by Akash is APPALLING AND SICK. It's interesting to see how he has found justifications for how women in this country are treated. The other day, a 70-yr-old woman was raped; wonder what sort of tittilating clothes she was wearing. The fact that woman today cannot step outside their homes after dark , the fact that they almopst alwasy need to a male escort gets so blooody claustrophobic. not that I expect a DICKHEAD like AKash to understand!
is akash reading any of this?!!
respect ..is all we need.
akash is a dimwit. come watch the women have a bath!
akash: we will wear what we want. grow up. get civilised.
Akash, you really should get your head examined! The situation should be such that a woman should be able to walk on the roads naked, and still not have to face molestation and disgusting advances.
Good that i have chanced upon this blog....very interesting read. Akash u know, u and u r likes should be taken to the firing squad and be shot at ur balls. For people like u, that our country is still miles behind.
i support your cause Jasmeen. Anybody sane would. Such men should be taken to task. Keep it up!!
thankyou gags and i support you in the project as well...JOIN IN!!
Akash, wat complete utter rubbish!!!! heard about 5 year old girls and 6 year old getting raped? wonder wat kind of "provocative" clothes they were wearing...
Jasmeen.. awesome project! all the best!
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(Extract from your blog:- "Coming down further, now-a-days, even small females from the age of 10, want to wear tight fitting jean. That is simply because, they know that males will be watching the pussy part and the tight fat thighs when they look at a girl walking with tight jeans.")
Either you are a pedophile or one of the sex crazy maniacs who gets off by even touching a skirt drying on a wire.
All I can say is, BURN IN HELL, you Fucking Ass-hole.
You are walking with your Mom. And her 'Pallu' (that part of a sari with which women hide their chests) glides off her shoulder. And a passerby feels up her breasts. I suppose that you will lament your mother for not fixing the pallu with a pin, right???? After all she 'provoked' that innocent 'groper'!!!
i love your blog ....i read abt it in the Hindu.
i support your cause completely.
i have been thinking for a long time now... is there any way in which friends,teachers,sisters and mothers,(also sane guys,the likes of Sriram Krishnan)of these guys(roadside romeos,as they are called)positively influence them in their formative years so that they dont grow up to be eve teasers and sick guys like akash....
there must be a way to teach guys to respect women and their fundamental rights as human beings??
u r using one method, that is surely quite effective, but i don't know how many ll understand our message and alter their behaviour for the right reasons.but cheers to u... its a very good thing u r doing... keep going... i m with u.
one suggestion, instead of asking for the clothes, if u ask ppl to donate pics of thmselves in those clothes, u might recieve a much bigger response.
best of luck for the project.
i m based in delhi.
my email id is firstname.lastname@example.org
i wud like to join ur project.
Whoever said that they will take a supari on this Akash, pl. contact me I will provide the logistics. How do guys like this explain molestation of children whose breasts (or boobs in his language) have not even developed? I would like to see what he would do if his mother or wife get groped despite being "fully covered"
the views of the author reveal an immature and narrow mind. in a poerfect worls, a girl should ideally be free to roam naked in public, doa very provacative dance , and no one should even raise an eyebrow, since its up to her how she wants to behave ans is nobody elses business. However since we live a an imperfect world, being free to go anywhere without being molested is enough.
i just stumbled across this page accidently and was quite surprised by akash's write up,and despite so much comments about mr.akash's stupidity didnt anyone of u think dat mr.akash is satisfying his perverse pleasures by writing such obsene stuff.i dont think there isnt any necessity to say certain words or describe certain things in such a way..i dunno , i just felt like dat .
serioulsy, you don't even deserve a reading Akash P R
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