18.6.08

From an 'ex- eveteaser'

1. Your - age- background
Age: 29
Software Engg

2. why do you refer to yourself as an ex 'eve teaser'. what did you do?
I have given up on eve teasing. I got introduced to you by narrating my story.

3. what is eve teasing to you- what was the range of things that you did
Mostly caressing the bottom or thighs in crowded places. Rubbing private parts against the butt.

4. when and why did you stop?
Because I was punished in public.

5. how do you approach a woman stranger now? if you find her attractive?
I am married now. So no question of approaching. I have lot of friends who are girls.

6. how did you hear about Blank Noise
When I was browsing regarding eve teasing.

7. did you discuss being an 'eve teaser' , strategies and ways with your male friends?
No I used to operate alone. To my friends I was a decent guy.

8. did anyone except the woman who experienced it, really know that you could violate someone?
No. I had a decent image.

9. do you feel that 'teasing' to an extent is ok? if yes then where do you draw the line?
No it is not acceptable in any form or shape.


The answers are not meant to be seen as absolutes or solutions. It is but 1 person's experience. I thank him for sharing.

27 comments:

  1. very interesting. need to do more of these.

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  2. Answer to the q? # 4.

    tit for tat. Public humiliation.

    The key to the success may just revolve ard this. It may not be easy but the results cud be conclusive

    ReplyDelete
  3. dilip- I just added a line after reading your comment...
    The answers are not meant to be seen as absolutes or solutions. It is but 1 person's experience. Whether 'public humiliation or punishment' always works is for us to find out as more men write in.

    ReplyDelete
  4. It would also be interesting to know what sort of punishment was given...to understand what level of intervention works...

    Wonder if we can find that out?

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  5. a decent man indeed.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  7. Call me a pessimist but all I see here is blatant hyprocrisy!

    I know, I know... coming out with an honest confession and all that.


    But come on, it took something as big as public humiliation (and marriage) to stop one guy. (I begin to wonder which of the two, actually)

    What about half a billion others?

    ReplyDelete
  8. http://blog.blanknoise.org/2007/10/wooing-on-streets.html

    ReplyDelete
  9. coffee boy5:07 am

    Is this the same person who visits this site using the name "ashamed"?

    To ii: There are many eve-teasers who are married. Of course, the guy with the ultimate character would be a non-impotent fifty year old virgin who doesn't eve-tease girls. :) (Did I miss anything?)

    PS: Nice to be back here after many days.

    ReplyDelete
  10. hey coffee boy- welcome back!

    ii= ofcourse he could be anyone-single, married, 13, 19, 30, 24, 50, 59., 80 years- with loads of money, with no money..

    anyone- with the desire or the intent or the belief that it is ;ok' / ' normal pure fun to do so will'

    it could happen in groups- like in the video below. it could happen secretly- like in the interview above. the nature of the harassment/ violation is ofcourse different in both places

    ReplyDelete
  11. It's not abt who or what kind of people do it. It's about how much time and effort it would take before some significant improvement shows up.

    Maybe it's just a rant, maybe it's a random crib... but it IS a true picture, isnt it?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ashamed10:56 pm

    Hi, this is 'Ashamed' the person Jasmeen interviewed. Let me answer some of the questions that have come up after the interview.

    The public humiliation given to me was that I was beaten up badly by the public on an overnight bus journey. I turned a new leaf after that and not after marriage.

    Please do not call this blatant hypocrisy. I changed and I want to help Jasmeen and others to bring down the occurance of eve teasing. I am trying to help here and not trying to find publicity for myself.

    I would like to thank jasmeen for publishing this. We could not fix up a time for a direct interview. so this was done hastily by email. I am always available to answer your queries. I've sent some info about my modus operandi (when I was doing it) to Jasmeen. This might help us knowing the mind of the eve teaser better.

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  13. Anonymous11:00 pm

    Hi I am 'Ashamed', the person who gave this interview. I can see that some questions have been asked about the interview. Let me answer those.

    Yes the public humiliation made me quit it. Not marriage.

    I am not hypocrat. Please don't call me that. I wanted to help Jasmeen and co to put an end to this menace.

    Thanks Jasmeen for publishing this interview. Sorry we could not fix up a time to do a detailed interview.

    I've emailed jasmeen (long back) some of my modus operandi (when I used to do it). This might help us get some insight into the minds of eve teasers.

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  14. coffee boy7:22 am

    ii:

    I am not sure whether your post is for me or for Jasmeen. My comment was more in a light-hearted tone. While you are right that it took public humiliation for the transformation in this case, I don't understand why you call it hypocrisy.

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  15. Very thought provoking. For a man to eve tease would take no guts, but to confess, would.

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  16. not satisfied with the questions or the answers.

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  17. Ashamed2:16 am

    If u have any specific questions for me, u can direct the questions to Jasmeen, who in turn will get in touch with me.

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  18. @ashamed
    thanks for sharing ...takes a lot of courage to admit what you did was wrong
    however doesnt completely negate your past ...sharing this is only the 1st step ...u have a lot to do to make up for what u did which m sure u will...

    sorry i aint that forgiving

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  19. Anonymous8:01 am

    @ mohnish

    yeah, we are all dying to seek your forgiveness.

    ReplyDelete
  20. @anonymous

    arent you 'ashamed'? or just another sick potential predator

    either way castration is what would shut you both up

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous9:59 am

    @ Mohnish

    No, I am not "ashamed". I am "coffee boy" who is sometimes too lazy to type in his name. And please relax because that comment was supposed to be friendly humor. Just couldn't resist some mischief. :)

    On a more serious note, how come your attitude towards "ashamed" underwent such a tremendous change that you recommend castration? By the way, if you want to forcibly castrate me, please give "yours truly" some anesthesia before doing so.

    I owe an apology to "ashamed" for the mistaken identity.

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  22. Well, I was playing too…just being a lil friendly that’s all.

    As far as the attitude change it was, is and will always remain “hang them (all the pervs, rapists etc) by their balls

    Using anesthesia to castrate? Wheres the fun???…I say rub some salt on the wound …

    on a more serious note red chilly powder ;

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  23. I dont like to not publish comments but I am curious to know where your intense reaction or anger comes from-
    this is to mohnish.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Ashamed2:05 pm

    Coffe Boy,
    It is ok, No apologies required.

    @Mohnish,
    I never really realised that people have such a hostile feeling towards offenders. I think you have some bitter experience.

    But don't u think that people who have realised thier mistakes and want to mend way should be given a fair chance? If you had a friend like me and you come to know that he was an ex-offender, would you still accept him as your friend

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  25. @Jasmeen
    I apologize for the words used…will be careful next time

    As far as anger is concerned I think your initiative too is a product of perhaps a little bit of anger…just that you add value with that anger unlike many of us. Where it comes from I dunno. Any form of injustice, violence, discrimination (list goes on) is enough to trigger the ‘monster’
    I am the one who has been sending you those mails to start something in my city (Bombay) I liked what you guys are doing, I personally had a lotta unlearning to do when I first visited www.blanknoise.org and check for updates practically on a daily basis.

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  26. Anonymous12:44 am

    I can relate to mohnish's anger. I don't know what causes his, but personally I have had bad experiences more than once. I was just out of school, the first time it happened, I didn't even fight back, I still hate myself for that, I was old enough I should have done something, but I was so naive and so stupid, but there were older women around me watching what was happening, nobody said anything, I just stood there humiliated. Now I do fight, still people just stand watch when I scream at offender, some people giggle. I'm sorry I don't feel very forgiving.

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  27. You changed because you were beaten up and the humiliation you faced???

    I do believe in the phrase - "Once a thief always a thief"

    Anyways, Some background information on you and why did you do the stuff you did would help understanding the Psyche' behind these acts.

    and unlike i i, I do believe "who or what kind of people do it" will give more insight...

    :)

    ReplyDelete