Pallavi and I were walking around the city market in Bangalore.
This young boy lept over pallavi and screamed out
" HAI! HAI! MIRCHI!!"
trying to say: " YOU HOT THING!!!!"
(literally meaning something `spicy and hot`- like a green chilly)
It was probably a casual `thing to do` for him.
I called him back, he walked towards me defiant and amused....
I took my camera out....
and here you have it....
14 comments:
thankyou dear seshu.
and thankyou for posting it on www.tiffinbox.org
Hey there. I read about your project and blog in "The Week". You guys are doing a good job, but I don't think this is going to put a stop to eve teasing. I've planned to blog about my thoughts and ideas to stop it, will do it soon enough. I'm lazy lol.
And about the guy calling you "a hot thing", why do you take it as "teasing" or an insult? Take it as a compliment. He called you hot, isn't that supposed to be a good thing? Say thank you, smile and keep walking. Fair enough.
I agree with Slim. Not everything you have published here can be marked as "harassment". Indeed, if some guy is yelling you are a "hot thing", take it as a compliment!
Dear sisters,
I think this is good action your doing out there!
Love from Holland,
Jo
Dear Anon1 and slim,
Unlike you guys, we are not frustrated or desperate to accept 'compliments' from everyone on the road, we have our choices and our private space, and I don't think anyone has the right to give me a compliment if I don't wish to receive it. And definitely not from someone who is so disrespectful.
Today it is a compliment, tomorrow it will be a criticism....and then we need to accept a lot 'more' from men on the streets.
Hi
This is a great campaign. I'm originally from UK and in my town often couldn't walk down the main street on an evening without men who were out drinking shoutng at me, grabbing me etc. I think the point about taking "hot thing" type remarks as a compliment is a commonly made one but based in a lack of understanding about the continuum of this type of behaviour. Women don't expereince advances from strange men as being benign. We are raised in a world where if we are not raped (and many, many of us are) then we are told from a very young age that it is a very real possibility. We are taught that we should appease men because they are apt to become violent, they earn more than us, they have more societal power than us. So a remark is not just a remark. We are left thinking "will this man now think that he can touch (assault) me?", we are worried about telling him we don't appreciate such remarks because what if he is one of those men who are apt to be violent? The old excuse of "I was just giving you a compliment" is getting a bit old now. If I made you dinner and you didn't like it I wouldn't expect you to just suddenly force yourself to like it and insist there is something wrong with you if you didn't. I would not make you that kind of dinner again. I would ask you what you would prefer. Instead of asking (again and again!) "what's wrong with women?" we should ask: Even though it hurts all these women's feelings and sense of safety to be shouted at like this why is it so important for men that they continue to do it? Will they come to some great harm if they can't shout at women in the street? What exactly will they lose that is of so much more value than the freedom for women to step out onto the street and feel safe? So why not just stop? It really is that easy for them.
girls:
Get a life. and a boyfriend. life is more about enjoyment. if you can't understand that then you are still too deep in the indian mentality shit. If a guy comes and says "hello. Whould you like to join me for coffee." thats not harrasement. Thats civilised behaviour.
If a guy comes and says "Hey babe you have nice set of Knockers" Thats a compliment. If you think he is a smart bloke Smile and thank him.
If he's nasty and touches you then thats Harrasement. Take a photo, blow a wistle, call the cops, give him hell.
Its all about perception. You live in a society thats Fu**ed up then there is nothing you can do about it. The Soceity has to change. This sort of thing doesn't happen here in Dubai. I have dated a lot of girls. I have chatted up girls in bars, and night clubs, shopping malls, and yes many have turned me down. But They don't complain of eve teasing. Because there was no harrasement. ITs all about attitude and the society we live in. You live in a society where kissing in public is a sin. Try to rectify that situation. Before you put up pictures of poor blokes who chat you up.
Peace.
where the hell is the picture itself? why was it deleted?
hey Av!
the pics right there
nopes not deleted
That's definitely a good thing you are doing. Unfortunately there is probably a very small chance these guys see their celebrity status. There's a program on TV in the US about how this group of people lure child molestors. Once they arive they are caught on TV and then arrested. The whole sequence is there on TV. If you are publishing their pic like this it must mean you have taken care of the legalities. Why not tie up with a newspaper ?
If those boy would have walked up to Pallavi and said, "Miss, your outfit looks very nice on you", then THAT might be a compliment.
Compliments are POLITE.
What he did was neither polite nor complimentary.
this is a great effort but im sure the dude hasnt got the msg. a more effective medium has to b sort out. flyers with the pics r not a bad idea so long as the medium isnt exploited.
im from chennai now in b'lore & this is a serious problem. & for those guys who think it is a compliment it jus reflects th problem with our society. most men do not know how to behave around women. Slim, if u do have a sister or girlfriend or wife, wud u react the same way? wud u b happy some drooling guy payed her a "compliment"? & wat if the compliment was a lil more expressive? wat if he felt her up? does tat mean he's complimenting her body & hence acceptable?
wat most ppl do not realise is tat jus becos some1 doesnt touch u it does not mean the person cant violate u. even a look can b violating.
parents need to teach their children better. jus ignoring the probem & tellin girls to cover up doesnt make the problem go away. it jus gets outta control as it has.
hey u r doing a nice job...but is'nt it getting a li'l frustrating when people r apprehending hulliganism as praising! its helpless to try fighting in a society like this - suffering from low self-esteem and gender imbalance. any ways u gals already know that ur noises r not going to b heard..keep trying - good wishes...good job again.
Take it as a compliment???@@###???!!! Whjat crap are you guys talking.... I dont believe there are so many educated people out there who lack basic awareness.....
if a guy screams out at your mother on the road saying how juicy her boobs look.... should your mother take it as a compliment??? I gave this example because you guys understand only this sort of language.... for how long have we women been screaming such comments offend us... still u guys have the nerve to ask us to take it as a compliment??? After reading that example I gave about your mother, probably you will, to a tiny-winy bit, understand what women go through when we are HARASSED!!!!
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