That girl was me. Now, why on earth would I choose to publicly rake up my own, forgotten, sordid little secret? Precisely because I am vexed by the fact that it has taken me 20 years of hesitation, one marriage, two kids, and the psychological armour of respectable matronhood to do it. '
'Incidentally, whoever coined that absurdly quaint term was obviously a man, most likely an Indian man. Because, admit it or not, “eve-teasing” is India’s unique national sport, probably why an Indian masseur was recently in the spotlight for “teasing” a staffer at the Commonwealth Games in Melbourne.'
3 comments:
thanks for the link to that article, chinmayee. i was travelling with a (white) friend in rajasthan earlier this year, and it's unbelievable how many times we were propositioned. on our bus from agra to jaipur, we had men describe in graphic detail what they wanted to do to us, probably thinking that i didn't understand hindi either. or maybe they WANTED me to know what they were saying. ugh. it was a horribly disempowering feeling...
and don't even GET me started on the word "eve-teasing." :)
Disempowering is the word.
In Cuba (I hope Im getting the country right) men proposition women all the time. In graphic detail. Bus conductors to women passengers. Shopkeepers to female customers. Every guy to every girl.
It is not a problem there. And the reason is empowerment.
A large chunk of Cuban society has broken marriages, and the women treat their sons as precious. They end up being preening peacocks, boasting about their sexual prowess to every women who comes near them.
It is tolerated and even liked because in Cuba, it is the women who are the cornerstone of a home, and the men are adornments. They have no power, no responsibility, and social status belongs to the women who do the heavy lifting. They are empowered, the men are not - and don't want to.
(Please to forgive a bit of exaggeration, but you get the point)
Just empower women. In the end, it is the only solution. And a bit lesson on civilized behavior can help meanwhile.
It takes a lot to let out the truth, I dont think I could have done it if i were you. I just have to think how many of the females in my lives (family, friends, colleagues....) have been humilitaed like this and still happen to celebrate life and keeping their shatered heart to themselves.
The Blank Noise Project is a wonderful project, I wish you all the best. I get it that this is not an all womans issue here, but i'd suggest u try to more actively seek even men (not the issue that women need men...) but i believe some men could do their part in making this world a better place.
like,
http://www.mencanstoprape.org/
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