“Neev ibbaru thumbaaa chennagiddira”( the both of you are veeery beautiful). It was perhaps the tone in which they stretched the ‘very’ that just made us girls turn and say “Thank you”! - Naksha Erappa+ Sheetal (friend)
Dear Blank Noise Action Heroes/ BN Guys.
Over the last couple of years we have been discussing issues related to street violence and its impact on us. While continuing to do so , we would also like to build testimonials of another kind...testimonials that address the nature of wanting to 'get to know' someone and therefore take the form of stalking, persistently approaching, not hearing no for no, eye games, mutual flirting, passing remarks in perhaps a way of assuming that one is 'giving compliments' but may or may not have been the same experience for you, as the recipient.
We want you to blog your street interactions. we will be cross linking your blog post here: http://actionheroes.blanknoise.org/
or at http://bnguy.blanknoise.org
If you don't have a blog, you could email us your story instead.
Blank Noise Team
Due to the everyday nature of eveteasing, the idea of a man approaching a woman being genuinely intrested in getting to know her, is reduced to the point of non-occurence in women's minds.
Even the idea that we can approach an attractive man and start a conversation is impossible. Its sad because attraction is such a basic and natural thing and to not be allowed to express it is in my opinion not entirely healthy. This is what may contribute to build up of sexual frustration and hence help propergate eve teasing.
yes. the question though is also in HOW he is approaching her. does no mean no? how do most men interpret a NO- in some cases a " no means yes" and to pursue her is seen as the male thing to do.
yes attraction is basic and natural and needs to be allowed on the streets too. our privatized public spaces such as coffee days have it " alot can happen over coffee" but why not the streets? or can we look at what are the different codes and signals for street flirting? i met a couple once and they are married now. they met at a traffic signal.
The person who is approaching i think usually has the upper hand in a conversation.
For instance, if i were to approach someone i am sure of what i want to say and hence not too uncomfortable for me. At the same time if a stranger approached me, i would react in a questioning sense and i would only be okay to have a conversation depending on what he wants to communicate about as i would never be able to trust a person until i know his reason for approaching me. I guess it also depends upon the background of the stranger and the way he or she approaches.
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