well.. if you decide to go after this film, perhaps you need to train your guns against the entire porn industry, and all those CD shops which give out on rent all kind of porn.
Nothing corrupts the male mind more than 2 things: 1. Pornography. 2. Prostitutes who have voluntarily chosen prostitution, like the ones you can find on M.G.Road after 9 every night.
So long as these two exist, the day when women will be safe completely will remain a dream.
P.S: If anyone has seen the movie Mathrubhoomi, one can imagine what porn does to males!
It's a question of individual choice ignoramus. I have admittedly seen some porn, but after a few times it aroused a deep sense of disgust and pity at myself for having given vent to the PERFECTLY NATURAL sexual desire in a PERFECTLY UNNATURAL way. Since then I've completely stopped, (with considerable difficulty), contact with porn.
This and one more incident in my life, (which I'll not detail except to admit that it was another mistake of mine), actually opened my mind and heart to absolute stupidity of my actions and their potential long term harm to me and anyone else that happened to become associated with me.
I was ashamed for the cowardliness of my actions which arise out of both ignorance and lack of courage and straightforwardness to pursue to free and frank relationship.
I don't condemn the existence to sexual desire. It's a natural by product of physical evolution. Unfortunately people have not given this arena of human life much thought and hence often end up fulfilling themselves through ethically and legally wrong means.
As for prostitutes, well I can't comment, since I've had no contact as yet. But regardless of whether a particular girl is voluntarily a prostitute or has been forced into the trade, the male still has the full liberty to ignore her, right?
It's all a question of enough people, (males AND females), doing the right thing. Now I realise that what seems right for one may not be so for another, but I hope and believe that there exist some sort of _universal_ "principles" which people of all cultures, races and religions can implement.
Anyway this is not the place to talk any more upon the subject so I'll shut up after noting, (directed particularly at the ignoramus), that it's childish of us to try to blame others for our own insufficiencies. Of course there're exceptions and counter arguments to every statement, and I'll be glad to hear anything anyone has to say on what I've written above.
what's happening blanknoise? i haven't got any mails for sometime now, thought i'll find out. not that i'll involve myself, which i haven't been doing, but i'm interested in the ongoings. :)
i dont see it quite that clear-cut. ive watched porn, several yrs ago and cant guarantee that i wont watch it again. I think I can handle it since I take it as totally unreal but am not so sure as you seem to be.
I was turned off by some of the depiction: of violence and some stuff bordering on rape.
It can debase you and set unreal expectations on sex and what women like or will put up with. It certainly has a potential to corrupt.
Do think abt it before you call for psychiatric help for others?
Nothing corrupts the male mind more than 2 things: 1. Pornography. 2. Prostitutes who have voluntarily chosen prostitution, like the ones you can find on M.G.Road after 9 every night.
So long as these two exist, the day when women will be safe completely will remain a dream. ................ ................
I don't completely agree. I watch porn with my boyfriend sometimes so that we can get new ideas and positions for our own lovemaking. Violent porn is negative, but regular porn does not have to be. It can be used as a sex education tool, like a manual for various techniques, positions, etc.
As far as prostitutes contributing to the harrassment of women. How so? I was just watching a video of a brothel bust in Bombay and the cheif of police was saying that prostitution actually protects ordinary women from sexual harrassment and rape by providing a service to the men in society who are not sexually satisfied and would otherwise rape women if they did not have the outlet of prostitution to turn to.
I don't agree with that either.
If a man is sexually satisfied at home, why would he ever frequent a prostitute or sexually harrass ordinary women in the streets? At the same time prostitution does fulfill the needs of many men and I wonder, what is it that they are getting from prostitutes that they cannot get from their own wives/girlfriends? So yes, prostitution fulfills a need, but we need to look at what needs it is filling. Is it the excitement of having sex with a stranger?
If a husband and wife are open and communicative to each other about their sexual needs/desires, and if each of them are working on keeping their sex life exciting, what is the need for prostitutes or extra-marital affairs?
Prostitutes may be there to fulfill the needs of single men who are living in a society which does not allow for pre-marital sex, or for men who are not satisfied with their wives, or for men who are travelling a long time away from home and are not honest and faithful to their wives, in which case they need to work on character building and relationship bonding with their wives. Something is WRONG in a marriage where a husband or wife has to seek sexual fulfillment outside of their own spouse whom they are supposed to BE MADLY IN LOVE with.
Perhaps if Indian society became more open to pre-marital sexual relationships, as well as sexual exploration between a husband and wife within marriage, there would be less prostitution and less sexual harrassment.
I know many large extended families all live together in one house and there is not enough privacy and space for married couples to go really wild with each other sexually. I can imagine that this would result in sexual frustration for both the husband and the wife.
I'm a strong believer that a newly married couple should live alone for one year after their wedding so as to get to know each other sexually really well and get all their pent-up frustrations out. You just can't do that when you live in a house full of family members. We young people need our own space to get our freak on.
This is where porn can come in as well. Sometimes it really helps a young couple's sex life to watch healthy porn, porn in which both the man and woman are active and equal participants in various types of sexual acts and neither is portrayed as a victim.
So many techniques can be learned from that that can really spice up an otherwise boring sex life.
My own boyfriend did not know how to perform oral sex well on me until we both watched it on porn together. So I am not against porn if it is used to learn how to please a woman better.
The effect of porn has effects both in the conscious and the subconscious. It is the effect on the subconscious that's more important.
The porn industry predominantly targets the male audience. Even in heterosexual porn, more focus is given to the male pleasure than female pleasure. I have seen so much porn myself. Every sexual act has a lot of time devoted to fellatio, but little to cunnilingus. You have all males undergoing orgasm, while rarely do you see female orgasm. There are more yucky details I don't want to go into. Also, there are so many lesbo porno, but hardly any gay porno.
So, what's the overall message that porn conveys? Simple. It tells men that women are for their own pleasure. Mind you, there are a whole bunch of uneducated youth in the country, with little interaction with the fairer sex in real life, but adequate to more than adequate exposure to porn. These guys are obviously made to believe by porn that women are to be objectified as sex objects.
Once this happens, I don't see how you are going to get them to respect women. And unless they respect women, they won't respect their space as well. Invariably, it is these kind of guys that do all dirty stuff.
@jhansi..
Porn may have helped you find more pleasure in bed. It may give you new ideas. All for your pleasure. Everyone who watches porn does for his/her own pleasure only. But understand that it leaves subtle imprints on the mind, which shape the way a human being interacts with the world. And that's where the problem lies. If you were all alone in the arctic, no one cares if you watched porn all along. But in a society, because we interact with others, we need to watch our actions. You may reject the idea that porn promotes male superiority and objectification of the female, but I urge you to go on the streets and talk to the boys in hotels, garages, workshops, factories etc. You will know the truth then. You cannot put the society at risk by your actions that gives you pleasure.
With regards to prostitution..
What you say is right. But it is similar to this situation: A drug addict injecting more of drugs because, otherwise he may do something worse. Essentially, you are substituting one ill for a far worse one. This can never be the solution. The solution is de-addiction, and rehabilitation. Society is addicted to sex, and intoxicated with it. There is so much sex everywhere, that the idea of sex is put into a person's head every day, through ads, movies, newspapers, and of course, porn and prostitution. Far from providing a rehab, it is only nurturing the addiction further. Sex is a need, but it is dangerous when it turns out into an addiction.
As a matter of fact, the need for sex is not like the need for food. It does not have to be fulfilled throughout the life. It is possible to rise above the sexual instincts. But few try to do that. Even at 60, some rich men want sex with young girls. That's why I say that the society is getting addicted to sex.
Jhansi says this: Something is WRONG in a marriage where a husband or wife has to seek sexual fulfillment outside of their own spouse whom they are supposed to BE MADLY IN LOVE with.
I am wondering if this is applicable in all stages of a marriage, or is it only in the early stages. I would pity anyone who thinks sex is important in all stages of marriage. Such people will never be able to experience the more subtle, refined, and beautiful aspects of a marriage. Because, invariably they will not be MADLY IN LOVE with each other throughout their marriage. And since they believe sex is so important, they will seek fulfillment outside. Like this, they will jump from one relationship to another, all starting with and ending with sex, never progressing to the next stages of relationship.
Worse, if anyone believes that sex is important in all stages of a relationship, the he/she is ADDICTED to sex.
Prostitution doesn't help in getting out of this addiction. It only makes people more addicted.
It is time we as a society focus a bit on the spiritual aspects of our living, than continue to live the life of an animal.. eating, sleeping, and fucking.
And I don't see any significant change in men's attitute towards women, unless they are spiritualized, by which they themselves know how to treat women. No one would then need to tell them. Women won't have to cry. You don't need a BNP.
Since sex and romance are fundamental needs in humans (not the most important needs, but needs nonetheless) one should seek to fulfill that need in a healthy way. By healthy I mean physically as well as mentally and emotionally healthy.
In the past the scare of unwanted pregnancy curbed many a person's sex activities, nowadays we have not only that but the scare of deadly diseases to curb us. Therefore we need to seek to fulfill our needs for sex in a way in which neither unwanted pregnancy nor disease will get to us.
One way to do that is through committed relationships wherein both parties are faithful to each other for the duration of time they are together. That is called monogamy.
Generally a human beings peak sexual years are from the late teens to mid-40's. After mid-40's it is observed that less sex is needed, even less is desired.
I also agree that sex should not be indulged in all the time for one's entire life. Like eating, sleeping, working and playing, sex also needs to be used in moderation if it is to be healthy.
As humans we have alot of things to do in life, sex is just one. But just like we do not eat 24/7, but when we do eat we like to eat well-prepared and tasty food, similarly, although we may not be enjoying sex all time, when we do, we should make it of very high quality.
That takes growing together with another human being to the point where the lovemaking becomes phenomenal.
In very old couples the act of sex may be absent, but romance need not be. By romance I mean the affection (physical, verbal and emotional) that is exchanged between an old couple who have a healthy relationship of love --- yes they would still be MADLY IN LOVE. If you've never seen you're grandparents madly in love, I feel sorry for you. I've had exposure to very old couples who are still very much in love with each other and it's a beautiful thing. And being in love at that age does not require sex.
However, in our younger years 20's-50's, sex is usually an important componant in a healthy marriage.
Show me a couple that does not have a healthy and satisfying sex life, and I will show you an unhappy couple.
At the same time show me a couple who do not have a healthy emotional bonding and i will show you an unhappy couple. But it's hard to have a good sex life with a spouse unless you also have a good emotional life with them, so the two are inter-connected.
There is no denying the sexual componant of the human being. To repress that brings about alot of problems. I know because I've spent time in ashrams with "celibate" brahmacharies and such. Therefore the solution is to engage in a healthy relationship.
Kunal from Blank Noise spotted this poster in kerala only recently. If anyone ever happens to get find this film- do contact us asap!
10 comments:
What a shame for all thinking persons of this world.
well.. if you decide to go after this film, perhaps you need to train your guns against the entire porn industry, and all those CD shops which give out on rent all kind of porn.
Nothing corrupts the male mind more than 2 things:
1. Pornography.
2. Prostitutes who have voluntarily chosen prostitution, like the ones you can find on M.G.Road after 9 every night.
So long as these two exist, the day when women will be safe completely will remain a dream.
P.S: If anyone has seen the movie Mathrubhoomi, one can imagine what porn does to males!
In case spotted and contacted your group, whats next ?
It's a question of individual choice ignoramus. I have admittedly seen some porn, but after a few times it aroused a deep sense of disgust and pity at myself for having given vent to the PERFECTLY NATURAL sexual desire in a PERFECTLY UNNATURAL way. Since then I've completely stopped, (with considerable difficulty), contact with porn.
This and one more incident in my life, (which I'll not detail except to admit that it was another mistake of mine), actually opened my mind and heart to absolute stupidity of my actions and their potential long term harm to me and anyone else that happened to become associated with me.
I was ashamed for the cowardliness of my actions which arise out of both ignorance and lack of courage and straightforwardness to pursue to free and frank relationship.
I don't condemn the existence to sexual desire. It's a natural by product of physical evolution. Unfortunately people have not given this arena of human life much thought and hence often end up fulfilling themselves through ethically and legally wrong means.
As for prostitutes, well I can't comment, since I've had no contact as yet. But regardless of whether a particular girl is voluntarily a prostitute or has been forced into the trade, the male still has the full liberty to ignore her, right?
It's all a question of enough people, (males AND females), doing the right thing. Now I realise that what seems right for one may not be so for another, but I hope and believe that there exist some sort of _universal_ "principles" which people of all cultures, races and religions can implement.
Anyway this is not the place to talk any more upon the subject so I'll shut up after noting, (directed particularly at the ignoramus), that it's childish of us to try to blame others for our own insufficiencies. Of course there're exceptions and counter arguments to every statement, and I'll be glad to hear anything anyone has to say on what I've written above.
what's happening blanknoise? i haven't got any mails for sometime now, thought i'll find out. not that i'll involve myself, which i haven't been doing, but i'm interested in the ongoings. :)
@ignoramus
I've watched porn, and been a regular BNP volunteer.
Porn is not something that nurtures instincts.
Psychatrist anyone?
@abby
i dont see it quite that clear-cut. ive watched porn, several yrs ago and cant guarantee that i wont watch it again. I think I can handle it since I take it as totally unreal but am not so sure as you seem to be.
I was turned off by some of the depiction: of violence and some stuff bordering on rape.
It can debase you and set unreal expectations on sex and what women like or will put up with. It certainly has a potential to corrupt.
Do think abt it before you call for psychiatric help for others?
Thank you,
Jai_Choorakkot
................
Nothing corrupts the male mind more than 2 things:
1. Pornography.
2. Prostitutes who have voluntarily chosen prostitution, like the ones you can find on M.G.Road after 9 every night.
So long as these two exist, the day when women will be safe completely will remain a dream.
................
................
I don't completely agree. I watch porn with my boyfriend sometimes so that we can get new ideas and positions for our own lovemaking. Violent porn is negative, but regular porn does not have to be. It can be used as a sex education tool, like a manual for various techniques, positions, etc.
As far as prostitutes contributing to the harrassment of women. How so? I was just watching a video of a brothel bust in Bombay and the cheif of police was saying that prostitution actually protects ordinary women from sexual harrassment and rape by providing a service to the men in society who are not sexually satisfied and would otherwise rape women if they did not have the outlet of prostitution to turn to.
I don't agree with that either.
If a man is sexually satisfied at home, why would he ever frequent a prostitute or sexually harrass ordinary women in the streets? At the same time prostitution does fulfill the needs of many men and I wonder, what is it that they are getting from prostitutes that they cannot get from their own wives/girlfriends? So yes, prostitution fulfills a need, but we need to look at what needs it is filling. Is it the excitement of having sex with a stranger?
If a husband and wife are open and communicative to each other about their sexual needs/desires, and if each of them are working on keeping their sex life exciting, what is the need for prostitutes or extra-marital affairs?
Prostitutes may be there to fulfill the needs of single men who are living in a society which does not allow for pre-marital sex, or for men who are not satisfied with their wives, or for men who are travelling a long time away from home and are not honest and faithful to their wives, in which case they need to work on character building and relationship bonding with their wives. Something is WRONG in a marriage where a husband or wife has to seek sexual fulfillment outside of their own spouse whom they are supposed to BE MADLY IN LOVE with.
Perhaps if Indian society became more open to pre-marital sexual relationships, as well as sexual exploration between a husband and wife within marriage, there would be less prostitution and less sexual harrassment.
I know many large extended families all live together in one house and there is not enough privacy and space for married couples to go really wild with each other sexually. I can imagine that this would result in sexual frustration for both the husband and the wife.
I'm a strong believer that a newly married couple should live alone for one year after their wedding so as to get to know each other sexually really well and get all their pent-up frustrations out. You just can't do that when you live in a house full of family members. We young people need our own space to get our freak on.
This is where porn can come in as well. Sometimes it really helps a young couple's sex life to watch healthy porn, porn in which both the man and woman are active and equal participants in various types of sexual acts and neither is portrayed as a victim.
So many techniques can be learned from that that can really spice up an otherwise boring sex life.
My own boyfriend did not know how to perform oral sex well on me until we both watched it on porn together. So I am not against porn if it is used to learn how to please a woman better.
The effect of porn has effects both in the conscious and the subconscious. It is the effect on the subconscious that's more important.
The porn industry predominantly targets the male audience. Even in heterosexual porn, more focus is given to the male pleasure than female pleasure. I have seen so much porn myself. Every sexual act has a lot of time devoted to fellatio, but little to cunnilingus. You have all males undergoing orgasm, while rarely do you see female orgasm. There are more yucky details I don't want to go into. Also, there are so many lesbo porno, but hardly any gay porno.
So, what's the overall message that porn conveys? Simple. It tells men that women are for their own pleasure. Mind you, there are a whole bunch of uneducated youth in the country, with little interaction with the fairer sex in real life, but adequate to more than adequate exposure to porn. These guys are obviously made to believe by porn that women are to be objectified as sex objects.
Once this happens, I don't see how you are going to get them to respect women. And unless they respect women, they won't respect their space as well. Invariably, it is these kind of guys that do all dirty stuff.
@jhansi..
Porn may have helped you find more pleasure in bed. It may give you new ideas. All for your pleasure. Everyone who watches porn does for his/her own pleasure only. But understand that it leaves subtle imprints on the mind, which shape the way a human being interacts with the world. And that's where the problem lies. If you were all alone in the arctic, no one cares if you watched porn all along. But in a society, because we interact with others, we need to watch our actions. You may reject the idea that porn promotes male superiority and objectification of the female, but I urge you to go on the streets and talk to the boys in hotels, garages, workshops, factories etc. You will know the truth then. You cannot put the society at risk by your actions that gives you pleasure.
With regards to prostitution..
What you say is right. But it is similar to this situation: A drug addict injecting more of drugs because, otherwise he may do something worse. Essentially, you are substituting one ill for a far worse one. This can never be the solution. The solution is de-addiction, and rehabilitation. Society is addicted to sex, and intoxicated with it. There is so much sex everywhere, that the idea of sex is put into a person's head every day, through ads, movies, newspapers, and of course, porn and prostitution. Far from providing a rehab, it is only nurturing the addiction further. Sex is a need, but it is dangerous when it turns out into an addiction.
As a matter of fact, the need for sex is not like the need for food. It does not have to be fulfilled throughout the life. It is possible to rise above the sexual instincts. But few try to do that. Even at 60, some rich men want sex with young girls. That's why I say that the society is getting addicted to sex.
Jhansi says this: Something is WRONG in a marriage where a husband or wife has to seek sexual fulfillment outside of their own spouse whom they are supposed to BE MADLY IN LOVE with.
I am wondering if this is applicable in all stages of a marriage, or is it only in the early stages. I would pity anyone who thinks sex is important in all stages of marriage. Such people will never be able to experience the more subtle, refined, and beautiful aspects of a marriage. Because, invariably they will not be MADLY IN LOVE with each other throughout their marriage. And since they believe sex is so important, they will seek fulfillment outside. Like this, they will jump from one relationship to another, all starting with and ending with sex, never progressing to the next stages of relationship.
Worse, if anyone believes that sex is important in all stages of a relationship, the he/she is ADDICTED to sex.
Prostitution doesn't help in getting out of this addiction. It only makes people more addicted.
It is time we as a society focus a bit on the spiritual aspects of our living, than continue to live the life of an animal.. eating, sleeping, and fucking.
And I don't see any significant change in men's attitute towards women, unless they are spiritualized, by which they themselves know how to treat women. No one would then need to tell them. Women won't have to cry. You don't need a BNP.
Since sex and romance are fundamental needs in humans (not the most important needs, but needs nonetheless) one should seek to fulfill that need in a healthy way. By healthy I mean physically as well as mentally and emotionally healthy.
In the past the scare of unwanted pregnancy curbed many a person's sex activities, nowadays we have not only that but the scare of deadly diseases to curb us. Therefore we need to seek to fulfill our needs for sex in a way in which neither unwanted pregnancy nor disease will get to us.
One way to do that is through committed relationships wherein both parties are faithful to each other for the duration of time they are together. That is called monogamy.
Generally a human beings peak sexual years are from the late teens to mid-40's. After mid-40's it is observed that less sex is needed, even less is desired.
I also agree that sex should not be indulged in all the time for one's entire life. Like eating, sleeping, working and playing, sex also needs to be used in moderation if it is to be healthy.
As humans we have alot of things to do in life, sex is just one. But just like we do not eat 24/7, but when we do eat we like to eat well-prepared and tasty food, similarly, although we may not be enjoying sex all time, when we do, we should make it of very high quality.
That takes growing together with another human being to the point where the lovemaking becomes phenomenal.
In very old couples the act of sex may be absent, but romance need not be. By romance I mean the affection (physical, verbal and emotional) that is exchanged between an old couple who have a healthy relationship of love --- yes they would still be MADLY IN LOVE. If you've never seen you're grandparents madly in love, I feel sorry for you. I've had exposure to very old couples who are still very much in love with each other and it's a beautiful thing. And being in love at that age does not require sex.
However, in our younger years 20's-50's, sex is usually an important componant in a healthy marriage.
Show me a couple that does not have a healthy and satisfying sex life, and I will show you an unhappy couple.
At the same time show me a couple who do not have a healthy emotional bonding and i will show you an unhappy couple. But it's hard to have a good sex life with a spouse unless you also have a good emotional life with them, so the two are inter-connected.
There is no denying the sexual componant of the human being. To repress that brings about alot of problems. I know because I've spent time in ashrams with "celibate" brahmacharies and such. Therefore the solution is to engage in a healthy relationship.
Post a Comment