Vocabulary - Strategy 2. Meeting rudeness with rationale

I am completely average. Average face, talents, life. Accordingly, I take the amount of sexual harassment I suffer to be average too. That's pretty much every day since I was around 13, by males of all ages, nationalities and types, singly and in groups, usually on the street, in parks or public transport. The harassment takes the form of leering, jeering, tongue-clicking, hissing, nudging, comments in my ear, following, physical blocking and gropes. Every woman I've spoken to, of whatever country, whatever age, knows what I mean.


Sari said...

dear i know wat u mean... and yes how about they getting teased by their colleagues/ mgrs/bosses - officially.

Anonymous said...

"Every day since I was 13..."

felt like a stretch, I'm wondering abt what kind of neighborhood Bidisha lives in.

OTOH maybe lots of women tune out or ignore stuff that Bidisha doesnt (and shouldnt), or dont mention any except the most egregious incidents.

Will check with my wife and post back. I know abt just 2 instances where we felt harassed as a couple walking abt, in 7 years (and these 2 were basically stares/ comments).

@ commenter above: again, jeez, most men I know in my workplace maintain a very safe distance from female coworkers and dont join even casual conversations with them.

A few have a good rapport with the lady colleagues and do. they arent managers, and seem to have a good peer-to-peer thing going, that maybe some of the other guys envy and some crib abt but there is not even from these guys an approach to a proximity of a harassment situation.


Anonymous said...

Reporting back after checking with my wife:

1. very few incidents here (outskirts of BLR) where we live that go beyond guys lolling around looking at anything (woman/man/dog) that passes by. If you count this last in, then yes she, I and the neighborhood dog all get hassled everyday.

2. Back in our hometown in Kerala though it was and still is very common and usually consists of at a minimum prolonged stares and a few comments. Travel by bus is not very safe even if there are 2 or 3 of you (women)in a group- there the harassment can get physical. Probably can be near-daily experience then if you cant avoid bus travel.


draupadi said...

yeah, it is quite sad that interaction between the sexes is strained because of the prevelance of sexual harassment in the workplace / or in colleges etc. how do we try and maintain a space where women and men can freely interact without seeming like we are belittling the experience of being sexually harassed or without denying that it occours. can we deal with sexual harassment without adopting an ultra coservative "no interaction between women and men" stance. and without looking at for example, anything a man might say to a woman as harassment?

Anonymous said...

This just brings to my mind, my cousin's ( ashamed that we r related ) husband what at that time was dating her on the sly, passsing a remark on me being flat chested and years later when this incident flashed back and i shared the same with my aunt, she did not react and later pretended and said had i reported this earlier, he could have been brought to task...i mean i felt let down more abused by her indifference than him..it could have been anybody me, my neighbours and friends anita, sharon, sunanda, suparna, all who used to drop in home pretty often or even 7 year old kid from the opposite house who practically live in the home